Friday, December 30, 2011


As we wind down 2011 and look ahead to 2012 I like to set goals for the year... don't like using resolutions. 

I would like to lose a nice little chunk of weight ... lets just say it's over 20 lbs. but under 50 lbs.  I will start eating better which basically means portion control and not as many sweets.  I will also try to motivate myself to do a walk video three days a week and some weight training with either weights or a resistance band two days a week. 

I want to also get the clutter out of my life... this includes my house, my body and my mind.  I want to keep it simple.  I would also like to come to terms with my life and how it is.  I would also like to work on my faith and personal relationship with God. 

I have to make a decision about whether or not to sue on behalf of Nicole for medical malpractice.  I was told last year by an attorney that the statute of limitations had run out but one of Nicole's doctor's told me that it is the age of majority.  I have tried to contact several attorneys via their contact section on their websites and have had no response.  I don't know if this is God's way of telling me to let it rest or what.  I also have to think about what this would do to her SSI and Medicaid which is the only insurance she has. 

I think a very hard think for me this year will be Nicole turning 18.  I know she won't be moving out or anything like that but she will a "legal adult" even though she's still in high school.  My job as her parent is basically over as I have raised her up.  She is a really good girl and I am proud of the young lady she has become.  I guess I feel like I have a little of the empty nest feeling even though she is still at home if this makes any sense.  I really am not her parent in the sense of the word that she's a minor.  I will be getting power of attorney or having her do an advance directive or something so I can continue to speak on her behalf and make the decisions for her if she can't pertaining to her health issues.  This all brings up issues of  who and what I am without being a mom.  I don't feel like I have any talents or gifts. 

I really hope that 2012 is a good year.  I know it can always be worse but I wouldn't have considered 2011 one of the better years, however, in a lot of ways it was better than 2010. 

I wish everybody a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.


  1. I hope 2012 is a better year for you and your family. Just remember to take some time for yourself. I took up quilting a few years ago. It's a good way to relax, I enjoy creating something and my kids love the quilts I've given them. Some didn't come out as well as I would have liked, but I still had making them :)

  2. That's a big event on the horizon--Nicole turning 18, plus decisions about malpractice. Good luck to you dealing with these. Obviously you have a lot of experiencing coping with big challenges, so this will be the next chapter.

    I fully relate to your clutter goal! I've had a goal about clutter for several years with only modest progress, but somehow I feel more ready. I guess it's part of the changes I've gone through with turning 60 and feeling the spirit of change.

    Hope it turns out to be a great year for you.

    Judy Stone-Goldman
    The Reflective Writer
    Personal-Professional Balance Through Writing

  3. Jane, I hope 2012 proves to be a better year for you and your family. You've been through so much the last two years (Nicole's illness, Rick losing his job and the fallout from that) and have had to make some really tough decisions. You are a strong woman (you may not think so but look at everything you accomplished in 2011!). I'll be happy to do a weight loss challenge with you if you'd like. Sometimes it helps to have a "buddy" -- which means a huge sacrifice for me if I'm going to do it: less chocolate! :-) Happy New Year!

    caregiving. family. advocacy.

  4. I'm decluttering also, in all areas. Very freeing. I also want to release a few pounds. Have decided to cut out 3 things and start making smoothies for breakfast and lunch.
    I would like to say though that we all have talents and gifts, we just need to take the time to discover them. Have you thought about starting a daily journal to explore your thoughts and heart?
    Louise Edington
    Breaking Through Frontiers

  5. Hi June:

    Thank you so much for your comment. I would love to learn how to quilt they are so beautiful.

    Hope your year is fabulous too.

    Jane~mom to Nicole, 17 yo, VSD, PAH, Eisenmengers, BHJS
    "If you don't like something change it, if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."

  6. Hi Judy:

    Yes, it seems like I always have such big decisions now. Happy 60th belated birthday. I turned 50 in 2011 and that was a big one but I didn't seem to be so freaked out by it as Nicole turning 18.

    I have to get rid of the clutter... it is really sabotaging me.

    Jane ~mom to Nicole, 17 yo, VSD, PAH, Eisenmengers, BHJS
    "If you don't like something change it, if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."

  7. Hi Trish:

    Thank you so much for your kind post. Yes, I never thought I would have to go through the things I have but they could be worse... 2009 wasn't so great either but not as bad as the last two.

    I would love to do a weight loss challenge with a buddy. You know my weakness is brownies and Reese's peanut butter cups. I bought a big bag of them on Saturday and decided that I would only have two cups a day and that will satisfy my craving. I am also trying to limit my portions. My bathroom scale doesn't work properly so I will have to go by how my jeans fit. I want to start exercising too but I have been a walking accident since before Christmas. I hurt my back while moving Nicole's new bed and then hit my hip on the bed post, on NYE I stapled my thumb, and then this morning I was lifting up the bread box to put on top of the freezer and stepped back and hit a gallon of water which threw off my balance and the bread box was tilted and it opened and the big knob hit me at the top of the nose like between the eyebrows. I feel like I'm about 80 with my back/hip.

    I will have to take it easy until I am not in pain. It seems like every time I think about exercising or actually start I hurt something.

    Email me privately or personal message me on facebook about the weight loss buddy.

    Jane ~ mom to Nicole, 17 yo, VSD, PAH, Eisenmengers, BHJS
    "If you don't like something change it, if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."

  8. Hi Louise:

    Yes, it is very freeing to declutter but I don't seem to do that only move from place to place. I just don't take the time I need.

    I know it may be hard to lose weight but I will do my best. I try not to eat in between meals but lately that isn't working.

    I know I have talent and gifts but I'm not sure what they are. I love to journal and maybe I should start that back up.

    Thank you so much for your response.

    Jane~ mom to Nicole, 17 yo, VSD, PAH, Eisenmengers, BHJS
    "If you don't like something change it, if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."